Here's the story..

I sent out an email to my family letting them know about the news that came yesterday.  I have spoken to my sister and mom now and have gotten a tentative support from each of them - yay!  My mom is a bit freaked out which is completely understandable.  I was freaked out to begin with too!  I haven't shared how this all came about, so figured I would and then share the exciting offer that I got today.

I was sent Xinyu's file Wednesday night while I was at church (Eman was working).  I saw the alert come up on my phone along with the subject and sender of the email.  I immediately got butterflies and sat there wondering what I should do.  After a few minutes of anxiety, I got up and left the sanctuary to open the email.  The email said that the file had already been locked for us which freaked me out even more - could they do that without my permission?!  In my confusion and excitement, I couldn't remember if I would be able to open the attachments so called my friend to ask her what I should do and if I could send her the email to open for me.  She laughed and while she really wanted to see the file, didn't want to see the child before I had a chance to (smart gal).  After I hung up, my brain started to work and reminded me that I CAN open those files on my phone.  It is a mini computer, after all.  So, I opened it up and gazed in wonder at this beautiful little girl.  I was able to open all of the documents EXCEPT for the English translation file.  I called my friend back and told her what I knew, which was nothing, except that it was a file for a little girl named Yu Xinyu.  I gathered up the boys and we headed home.  Once there, I was able to open the word doc and see what exactly was going on with this child.  I did some research on hydrocephalus and started to panic - it seemed really scary!  I finally headed to bed about 11:30.  After doing what I needed to in the bathroom, I went into my closet and dropped to my knees (I don't usually pray here, in case you are wondering).  How on earth am I supposed to care for a little girl like this?!  Lord, if we are really supposed to move to Africa, this child would end up dying - Uganda does NOT have the capabilities to care for a child like this!  There is just no way, Lord!

Eman came home about 7:30 Thursday morning (he had been working night shift).  I showed him the pictures of Xinyu and shared with him all of the information that I had found the night before.  I also told him that we needed to give our agency an answer by Friday evening - that gave us 48 hours!  (Normally we would have 72 hours, but since it was the weekend and China was just getting ready to go on an extended gov't holiday, our time was shortened just to be safe.)  Eman didn't say much since he was completely drained from a very stressful shift.

Later, after I had breakfast, I read Psalm 27 (I posted it several back).  I was super convicted about my freak out the night before and decided that I would fast that day and the next until the Lord gave us our answer.  I asked the Lord to give both Eman and me a peace that passes all understanding if we were supposed to say yes.  If it was no, that He would give us a heavy spirit.  

All day long, I did my best to seek out as many opinions and as much information as I could.  I tried to get a hold of local neuro Drs as well as some in Seattle but got the run around there.  I also was trying to get in touch with a mom here locally that has two adopted children with hydro.  I was beginning to feel like we were going to have to make a blind decision and just TRUST that the Lord knew who this girl was and whether she would fit into our family.  We were going to need to TRUST that He really would give us our answer when we needed it.

Again, when Eman woke up,  I shared with him what I had found out and what I felt like the Lord was showing me - not much and TRUST!

Friday, I spoke with a mom on the other side of the country with a bio kid with hydro.  She shared some encouraging information as well as what daily life looked like for her family.  She also shared with me that she had started a foundation with her sister to help pay for shunt surgeries in Africa.  They were donating their funds to a non profit hospital that performed the surgeries.  After I got off the phone with her, I looked up the organization.  There is a hospital in Uganda.  Guess what their specialty is?!  Neurosurgery!!!  My mouth pretty much dropped to the counter.  I could not believe it.  I was also able to talk to a Dr in Spokane but couldn't get too much information since I only had a little bit to share.  Again, I felt like we needed to make a blind decision and just TRUST that the Lord would let us know HIS plan for us.

Eman and I finally got to talk and pray about what we were supposed to do Friday afternoon.  He and I both felt complete peace about this little girl, so agreed that we would say yes.  I was immediately giddy!  We agreed that we would not say anything until we had received our PA.  We then went out to meet some friends for dinner.  Eman was the first to spill the beans - usually it is me.  ;)  That night, we got our care letter sent to China and a week later, we had PA!  I just have to say that while I had excitement and anticipation with Jie, I have complete JOY with Xinyu.  I cannot believe that I am going to have a little girl running around here!  I am the mom that was completely content with boys and didn't feel like I needed a daughter to complete my family.  Ha!

All of this, leads me to today.  I spoke with my mom this morning for a bit and she told me that she would like to have me come over and help her sort through all of their stuff (there is a LOT, too).  She wants to give me all of the stuff to have a yard sale with in order to help support our adoption!  She said that she wanted to money to go to something worthwhile and she knew we could use it!  I am so absolutely blown away by her offer!  I did not expect any financial support from my family, at all!  She is willing to host the yard sale, or we can load everything up into my dad's trailer and bring it back here.  There is a community yard sale in April in her town that we could participate in, if we wanted to wait.  At first, I was thinking that we bring it all back here, but after praying and thinking about it more, I think it may be really cool to do the sale there.  What an opportunity for the Lord to show his power and ability to take care of us!  I pray that my parents see the glory of the Lord through this as well as being blessed themselves for being willing.  Having the sale at their house would bring people to see the farm and maybe bring business there as well.

So, so cool.  I love how things come together when we get our fingers our of the pot and let the Lord rule in our lives.

Big news!!!

 Today I received our PA from China for little Miss Xinyu! 

I cannot wait to see her with hair..  She is going to be so lovely - she already is, but even more so with hair!  It is so strange to think that I have a daughter. Never did I think that would happen.  I love my boys and love how easy they are.  There is very little drama with boys.  ;)  It is going to be really interesting to see who this little girl is.  Her file says she is quiet, shy and sometimes obstinant.  My boys are loud, outgoing and pliable.  If the file is true to who Xinyu is, then she will be completely opposite of what we are used to. 

I already have a plan for her room and am really trying not to buy cute girly things.  I have an idea of how big she is now, but dont know when we will be going for her.  There is no way to plan ahead at this point.  I am expecting that it will be winter/spring time.  Give me strength to withstand the temptation to shop, Lord! 

Xinyu will be 2 at the end of January.  She is post-op hydrocephalus which means she has a shunt in already to help drain the extra spinal fluid in her brain. 

I just cant wait.  I have a cheesy grin on my face...  :)

Colossians 1:13-14

For He has rescued us 

from the dominion of darkness 

and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves,

 in whom we have redemption, 

the forgiveness of sins.

This was the verse that came today in my daily Bible email and it is totally appropriate as we get close to Halloween.  Here is the commentary that came with:

Notice the term 'rescued'.  This implies that we couldn't get ourselves out of our predicament.  I n other words, we didn't find God - God found us!  His forgiveness of sin was never based upon our ability to get our act together.  Our redemption was paid for at the cross, and we should never forget that we have been pulled out of darkness by God's mercy in Jesus Christ.

I just love this.  I am so thankful for the regular reminders that I am not capable of doing any of this "saving" on my own.  The only way I can "save" myself is by saying YES! and allowing Jesus into my heart, by saying YES! to His desires for my life.  How easy is that?!  Ok, not always so easy because I am a stinky fleshy person.

This verse is also timely in another way.  Yesterday I received a short video clip of a little girl in China.  She is laying in her bed, trying to eat a candy that is still wrapped in plastic.  Her bed is a narrow crib - just wider than her small body.  There is a mattress in the crib, which is a step up from a lot of other beds, but no sheets or blankets to keep her cozy.  She appears to be well taken care of, and I am so thankful for that.  But, I am still a little sad for her.  I am really sad, heart broken and burdened for the kids that sleep on a hard bed, whether there is a crib around them or just on the floor.  I think about how well cared for my children are and how fortunate the kids in the USA are.  There is someplace for them all to go (even if they choose not to go).  There are opportunities for our kids to get food, free schooling, cloths and so much more. 

While I know the kids here in the US need families just as desperately as the kids around the world, I am just not as burdened for them.  My heart aches for the kids in countries that are so poor that they have no chance at providing a fraction of what we, in the US, can provide for our kids. 

I was talking with my friend after watching the video clip and we were talking about this little girl's bed.  She told me about how many children in China sleep on a bamboo mat inside their hard crib, again with no blankets.  I didnt know this, but was not surprised by it.  This piece of information made me realize that I had been turning a blind eye to this.  The Lord is slowly peeling back my onion layers, not only on my heart, but also on my eyes.

These children desperately need to be rescued out of their darkness spiritually and physically.  The Lord has burdened our hearts to bring one of these children home, now.  I pray that many more families are burdened in the same way.  I am also praying that Jesus returns soon to rescue the children that are regularly overlooked or are not available for adoption, for whatever reason.  And, if He is not coming soon, that He would visit these children and provide comfort in their very dark world.. I pray that there is just one caretaker in their building that is able to offer a comforting touch or smile.

I dont know if the Lord will ask us to bring more children home or not..  But I pray that He gives us the strength and ability to care for the children He does give us.  I pray that He continues to burden my heart to pray for these kids, to help them however we can. 

Psalm 27

The Lord is my light and my salvation;  Whom shall I fear?  

The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?  

When the wicked came against me to eat up my flesh, my enemies and foes, they stumbled and fell.  

Though an army may encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; 

though war may rise against me, in this I will be confident.  

One thing I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in His temple.  

For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion; in the secret place of his tabernacle he shall hide me; he shall set me high upon a rock.  

And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me; 

therefore I will offer sacrifices of joy in his tabernacle; 

I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord.  

Hear, o Lord, when I cry with my voice!  

Have mercy also upon me, and answer me.  

When you said, "Seek My face," my heart said to you, "Your face, Lord, I will seek."  

Do not hide Your face from me; do not turn Your servant away in anger; 

You have been my help; do not leave me nor forsake me, o God of my salvation.  

When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me.  

Teach me Your way, o Lord, and lead me in a smooth path, because of my enemies.  

Do not deliver me to the will of my adversaries; for false witnesses have risen against me, 

and such as breathe out violence.  

I would have lost heart, 

unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  

Wait on the Lord; 

be of good courage, 

and He shall strengthen your heart; 

wait, I say, on the Lord.

I love that He is always so faithful to remind, encourage and refocus me..  Thank you for how You show Your love of me! 

How great is our God?!

We all like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.  Isaiah 53:6

Do y of feel far from God? There is good news.  God knew that we don't have the ability to be consistent, so he took our faults and laid them upon the only One who could bear all of our wondering - himself.  Jesus took our sin because our heavenly Father knows us much better than we know ourselves.  Our quest for chistian perfection can be laid at The cross.  We  can rejoice that Jesus death and resurrection has opened the way to return from our wondering back to the arms of our Creator.  (commentary by Dave Whitehead,, senior pastor, gracenyc.org)

While I am not feeling far f rom God, necessarily, I am so thankful that He is able to bear my wonderings!  I am definitely guilty of that, it seems on a daily basis, as I get busy with what is right in front of my nose.  I am so easily distracted by the day to day, I tend to forget that my Heavenly Father is giving those day to day things to draw me into His presence..  This reminds me of His call to be more intentional with all that is in my life.  I purchased a study to do with the boys a few weeks ago.  We haven't started it yet.  My excuse was I didn't have ink to print it out - it is an online, PDF study rather than an actual book.  Well, that excuse, obviously doesn't fly since it is an online, PDF study.  However, I now have ink and print out a hard copy.  I will be printing it out and starting the study this week with my boys .  Once again, I need to be intentional.  Thank you, Lord that you can redirect me with a single verse.  Please continue to draw me into Your presence and to keep my eyes on You!

child desired form

Yesterday Eman and I filled out our Child Desired Form finally!  It was a bit of a dreaded form to fill out.  I thought it was going to be hard to decide what to say yes, no, maybe to.  But, it turned out to be easier than I thought.  I had been praying all week that the Lord would give us wisdom on what to check - now we need wisdom to know who is our child.  This was the scripture I got this morning on my daily scripture email: 

He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food 

will also supply and increase your store of seed 

and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness.

2 Corinthians 9:10

I love the unexpected encouragement and reminder that the Lord is in charge of this, not us!  He will be the one enlarging our family.

Too long...

It has been so long since I have done anything on here..  Apparently nothing of consequence has happened?  Which is so not true.  John had a birthday, we have had an amazing summer, we had a mini vacation, I had a birthday, school started..  So much, so little time or desire right now.  I think I may just upload photos and maybe do a little blurb or something.  But, right now, I had to share a funny that happened tonight on the way home from church.  Wednesday night services are quite a bit different from Sunday morning.  For one,, they are way more chaotic and for two the kids learn a memory verse.  Johns verse was the one about hiding Gods word in our hearts (I don't know the reference).  He told me the whole verse on the way home and so I started asking him questions about what the verse meant.  He told me that if we hide Gods word in our hearts then we won't sin against Him.  So I asked how do you hide Gods word in your heart?  He said, you put your bible under your shirt right next to your heart so it is hidden!  Oh, I couldn't help myself this time, and laughed out loud!  My son comes up with some funny things, but this one was one of the best.  Of course, I further explained to him that it meant learning and memorizing bible verses and keeping them in our hearts to help us know the right thing to do so we don't win against God.
Later, in the Walmart parking lot, we were talking about the funny (stinky) smell.  I told them it was the smell of manure and jacob said it smelled like flash and smitty (my parents dogs). They are 100% outside dogs that live in a kennel.  They live in western WA so get "bathed" regularly by the rain.  Really, they stink.  Long story, but flash is technically on loan to my parents and has just never come back home.  Jacob asked why he couldn't come back.  He said he thought coco, our German shepherd, needed puppies.  I asked why would we need flash?  Jake says (with LOTS of eyebrow wiggles and dramatic pauses), you know, so they can be... Husband and wife...? And... Have puppies...!
Seriously, the things my boys come up with sometimes..! They are funny kids and keep me on my toes!
I think babies are on their brain, though, because my brother and sister in law had their first baby today!  I am an auntie!!  I cannot wait to see him, and hear what his name is.  Apparently they have not yet decided.  They decided to be fun and not find out what they were having early and, of course, not share any of their name ideas.  Talk about party poopers!  All that aside, I am sure he his going to be adorable.  We will get to see him in the flesh, next weekend.  Yay!