Psalm 31

In you, O Lord, I put my trust; Let me never be ashamed; Deliver me in your righteousness.

Bow down your ear to me, deliver me speedily;

Be my rock of refuge, a fortress of defense to save me.  

For you are my rock and my fortress;

Therefore, for your names sake, lead me and guide me.

Pull me out of the net which they have secretly laid for me, for you are my strength.

Into your hand I commit my spirit;

You have redeemed me, o Lord God of truth.

I have hated those who regard useless idols; but I trust in the Lord.

I will be glad and rejoice in your mercy, for you have considered my trouble;

You have known my soul in adversities, 

and have not shut me up into the hand of the enemy;

you have set my feet in a wide place.

Have mercy on me, o Lord, for I am in trouble;

my eye wastes away with grief, yes, my soul and my body!

For my life is spent with grief, and my years with sighing;

my strength fails because of my iniquity, and my bones waste away.

I am a reproach among all my enemies, but especially among my neighbors,

and am repulsive to my acquaintances;

those who see me outside flee from me.

I am forgotten like a dead man, out of mind;

I am like a broken vessel.

For I hear the slander of many; fear is on every side;

while they take counsel together against me, they scheme to take my life.

But as for me, I trust in you, o Lord; I say, you are my God.

My times are in your hand; deliver me from the hand of my enemies, 

and from those who persecute me.

Make your face shine upon your servant; save me for your mercies sake.

Do not let me be ashamed, o Lord, for I have called upon you;

let the wicked be ashamed; let them be silent in the grave.

Let the lying lips be put to silence, which speak insolent things proudly

and contemptuously against the righteous.

Oh, how great is your goodness, which you have laid up for those who fear you,

which you have prepared for those who trust in you

in the presence of the sons of men!

You shall hide them in the secret place of your presence from the plots of man;

you shall keep them secretly in a pavilion from the strife of tongues.

Blessed be the Lord, for he has shown me his 

marvelous kindness in a strong city!

For I said in my haste, I am cut off from before your eyes;

nevertheless you heard the voice of my supplications

when I cried out to you.

Oh, love the Lord, all you his saints!

For the Lord preserves the faithful, and fully repays the proud person.

Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart,

all you who hope in the Lord.

Here he is - we got these mid May.  Isnt he sweet?  I cannot wait to get him home to get some good nutritious food into his belly.  I know he is going to be beautiful with a little bit more squish on his squishies (that is what we call buns around here) and all around.  I cannot wait to show him the love that he needs - to sing to him and hold him and tell him how much we love him.  Even more, I cannot wait to tell him how special he is - Jesus chose him for a special purpose!  Just what that purpose is, I dont know.  But, I know he has survived life in an orphanage for a reason!  Please give him hope, Heavenly Father!  His mama and daddy are coming for him!

PA!!!!!!

Just got an email with our preapproval from CHINA!!!  We are one step closer to bringing our new son home!!!

 This is the picture we saw first - here he is about 2 years old, 14 lbs!

For some reason, I am not able to open our current pictures.  I will keep working on it and then will add them in.  He is so cute and still has a glimmer of chubby cheeks.  He is not too much bigger now - only 4 more lbs.  He is 4 years old and about the size of a 12 or 18 month old.  He is about six months younger than Jacob.

We are still trying to decide on a name for him... 

One step closer...

I received news today that our letter of intent (LOI) was submitted last night to China!  While I haven't heard from our agency, I am assuming our application was also approved.  Now, we wait up to two weeks to hear back from China that we have been pre-approved! 

The boys are so excited to get their new baby brother home - they have been telling everyone that he is coming.  Jacob has also been helping me sort through yard sale leftovers and picking out clothes for our little guy.  I now have a small assortment of jammies and train shirts (of course) for him.  We plan to go out on a little shopping trip to pick out a cozy blanket and stuffed critter for him too.  I thought this would be a fun thing for John and Jacob to do for their little brother.  They cant wait to head out!  I love to see them excited about this!  I have been praying that God would fill their hearts with love for him and He has!

I am also praying that God renews our lil guys hope - that he has a new desire to live and thrive!  I pray that he has a peace that passes all understanding that his mama and daddy are coming for him! 

We are coming for you, bruder!

Our application has gone through and is being reviewed!  We have given the go ahead to get his file locked.  Once that happens, we have 72 hours to get our LOI paperwork in.  We have all of that ready to send, just waiting and trusting the Lord to provide that first payment!  I had my second panic attack this morning and was quickly rebuked not only by my husband, but also by the Lord.  Truth be told, I will be having these all the way til the end...  :/

i think we have had success!

Im pooped.  I had my first fundraiser today - a yard sale.  YAY!  We sold a bunch of stuff that was donated and have an official adoption savings account!  Woop!  And, I think my application FINALLY has gone through!  I sent it all in last week, but for some reason, it would not stay where it needed to be.  So, today I sent it one document at a time and I havent gotten it bounced back yet - I am thinking it was a success.  Please, oh please, Jesus, let it work!

While I was busy selling stuff, Eman was keeping the boys busy at the Big Rigz show at the park.  They got to see all kinds of big tractors, trucks and police vehicles.  They had a blast, and Eman took a bunch of great pictures.  Sure do love my sweet boys!

the rubber hits the road

Yesterday reality started to hit in for me with finances...  Because we already have our child chosen at the front end of this process, rather than later in the middle, we have our first chunk needing to be paid soon!  Of course, we dont have this money, but God already knows that.  I just have to keep reminding myself of that bit.  I am planning to go to Uganda in August on a mission trip and I am REALLY excited about this.  Eman went last summer and now it is my turn.  We have a yard sale planned for tomorrow to help raise money for the trip, but my heart and priorities have shifted.  I am torn by what I am supposed to do.  The idea of raising the balance for my trip AND raising the money for this adoption seem way too big for my mind to hold.  And, to be honest, it totally stresses me out.  Yesterday was rough and now, thinking about it, makes my heart jump in my chest.  It is hard for me to let go and trust that God is going to provide.  I also struggle with finding the balance of trusting and not doing.  I was raised that hard work directly effects the outcome of a project - so, I want to work hard to get this little guy home!  I have a scheming brain.  ;)  I had already planned that the funds raised by the yard sale would be split between my trip and my friend's adoption.  She, however, is insistent that I use it for my own adoption.  Potato, potahto.  God will provide for both of us, right? 

On a different note, my boys keep asking when we will be going to get our new baby brother.  They are so excited to have him home!  Jake thinks he will be driving here in the next few days.  I have showed him (lots of times) where China is and told him that our little guy wont be driving AND it will be quite a bit longer than just a few days from now. 

April 25, 2012

This is the day that God showed us our third child - a beautiful little boy waiting for us in China.  He turned four in February making him 7 months younger than Jacob.  When I first saw him, I immediately thought of what his life SHOULD look like.  He should be a bouncing, happy little boy running around causing mischief - just like my four year old.  Instead, he is languishing in a baby cage (not really - its a crib) without proper care.  Of course, my heart broke for him.  I showed his picture to Eman and jokingly told Eman, lets adopt him!  Much to my surprise, Eman said YES!  God had been working in his heart without my knowledge and without my prying (imagine that!).  Eman's stipulation was that God had to drop $30k in our lap to pay for the adoption.  After some gently reminders from a friend, that the money most likely will not come in a lump sum, we started to really pray about what we were supposed to do, knowing that if the answer was yes, that the money would be provided.  As we found out more about this little guy, God continued to press our hearts to saying yes.  About a week after, I had a vivid dream about us receiving the news that this little boy was OURS!  In my dream, I cried and cried with joy.  Later in the week we got current measurements as well as the information that the director had been thinking about pulling his file because he was in such bad shape.  This only made me pray more.  That next day, I received confirmation after confirmation that this was God's plan for our lives.  Just this weekend we sent in our official application and first payment.  Boy, did I have butterflies sending in that money!  We are waiting on an approval of our application and the locking of his file to us.  We will then have 72 hours to send in our letter of intent (LOI).  (I already have this all finished except the life insurance part - eman has to call on this because they wont share any info with me.  so annoying.) This is a mini dossier that is sent to China.  China will then, hopefully, approve this really quickly giving us our Pre-Approval.  Once that has been given, we can show pictures of him!
I got current pictures of him today and he is really small and weak.  He is sitting in a baby walker thingy, with his head propped up by his hands.  I dont think he is strong enough to hold his head up on his own, let alone sit up.  :(  He really needs his mama to hold him, rock him, sing to him and love him, not to mention feed him!  I have no idea how long it will take to get him home.  I am praying that the United States and China will be willing to cut the red tape and push things through faster than average.  Of course, this is every expectant parents hope, but he legitimately needed help yesterday!  We will most likely have a long road ahead of us with him.  I pray that God will give us the strength and wisdom to take the very best road possible.