Yesterday reality started to hit in for me with finances... Because we already have our child chosen at the front end of this process, rather than later in the middle, we have our first chunk needing to be paid soon! Of course, we dont have this money, but God already knows that. I just have to keep reminding myself of that bit. I am planning to go to Uganda in August on a mission trip and I am REALLY excited about this. Eman went last summer and now it is my turn. We have a yard sale planned for tomorrow to help raise money for the trip, but my heart and priorities have shifted. I am torn by what I am supposed to do. The idea of raising the balance for my trip AND raising the money for this adoption seem way too big for my mind to hold. And, to be honest, it totally stresses me out. Yesterday was rough and now, thinking about it, makes my heart jump in my chest. It is hard for me to let go and trust that God is going to provide. I also struggle with finding the balance of trusting and not doing. I was raised that hard work directly effects the outcome of a project - so, I want to work hard to get this little guy home! I have a scheming brain. ;) I had already planned that the funds raised by the yard sale would be split between my trip and my friend's adoption. She, however, is insistent that I use it for my own adoption. Potato, potahto. God will provide for both of us, right?
On a different note, my boys keep asking when we will be going to get our new baby brother. They are so excited to have him home! Jake thinks he will be driving here in the next few days. I have showed him (lots of times) where China is and told him that our little guy wont be driving AND it will be quite a bit longer than just a few days from now.
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