I have a picture of Jie on my desktop and seeing him this morning makes me sad..  Last night as I was praying I confessed that I feel as though I am abandoning him.  My heart has claimed him and it does not want to relinquish him to another family or to leave him uncared for in the orphanage.  I feel as though I am going through another miscarriage.  This little boy has been named and claimed as a part of my family.

However, as I prayed last night, I felt peace about what the Lord was doing.  I did not feel a clench and heartache of guilt.  I will be continuing to pray that we are truly doing what the Lord's will is and that he will continue to confirm this path for us.

Eman and I both feel like we are supposed to continue the path of adoption, we are just unsure now where and for whom we are supposed to look.  Again, I feel like I have just stepped out of the spin cycle...