so quiet...

Today is Eman's first official day working on his new squad.  I am excited to have him home and to hear how his day went.  I have also been praying off and on that he would learn quickly how to deal with jail life all over again.  He will be working the day shift for a few weeks so will need to learn at a pretty fast pace.  His squad will switch to nights at the end of the month (which is gonna stink) which will allow him to review and cement what he has learned at a much slower pace.
The boys slept over with Grandpa and Granny last night and are still there now - It is SO quiet here!  I love having my boys home, listening to their play and conversations.  Dont get me wrong, I have enjoyed the time here at home by myself, but I am ready for them to be home.  :)  And really, it is not quiet because I have pandora blasting worship music in the background.
I got to stay in bed this morning until 10, reading my bible and drinking coffee.  It was nice to read without interuptions.  I havent gotten much more than the kitchen cleaned in the past hour either..  Feeling a little bit lazy.
I was talking with my friend the other day about raising our kids as Christian homeschoolers vs public school students.  We are both thankful to be able to have control over our children's friendships and learning.  I was raised in an environment similar to what my kids are in now (minus homeschool) and now tend to struggle connecting my head knowledge of Christ and what He has done for me with my heart.  I had a good life growing up, never needing or having hard ship.  My parents were good at keeping any of their struggles shielded from us.  On the one hand, I think that what they did is good, but on the other hand, I think it was a bit of a disservice to us kids.  Without seeing my parents struggle and trust the Lord to provide for us as a family, made the habit in my head of also not trusting the Lord to provide in the day to day.  I am not sure how to break that habit and allow my boys to see it.  Is it really as easy as just praying daily with them and asking the Lord to help us to trust Him to provide? 
I know it is important to not shield our boys from the realities of the world, allowing what they can handle/process.  But, do they need to be IN the world to see those realities?  Can they not look from the outside and see the consequences of decisions to not live for Jesus?  They are getting a small taste walking through the adoption with us, by seeing people pan handle on the street (this breaks John's heart - he just doesnt understand why they would choose to live that way!) and knowing about jail life through talking with Daddy about jail/inmates.
I read Proverbs 4 today and it talked about listening to our parents wisdom, to seek out Godly wisdom - vs 4 He taught me and said to me, Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments and live. vs 5 Get skillful and Godly Wisdom, get understanding (discernment, comprehension, and interpretation); do not forget and do not turn back from the words of my mouth..  This whole chapter is my prayer for not only myself but also for my boys.  Is there any way that they can hold onto Your truths, Lord, without having to taste the world personally, to just skip the prodigal son experience? 
Teach me how to live my struggles out loud and in front of my boys.  Help me not to be private with them, to shove them down in order to forget about them.  Let me (and Eman) be an example of how to live our lives on fire for You even when there is nothing left to burn.  Let us not deny You in fear, like Peter.  Give us courage to live openly and publicly.  I pray our boys do the same!