Update!

I sent a request for an update last week, Sunday, requesting more information as well as new measurements/pictures.  Yesterday I woke up to four new pictures as well as new measurements!  These new measurements say that Naomi has grown just over 3 inches and gained almost 6 lbs!  I really hope these measurements are accurate and Naomi is really growing.  My pictures show that she is getting stronger and continuing to develop - I got two of her STANDING!!!  I was so surprised - I hoped that she would be able to sit up and crawl when we get her.  She may be walking!  I also got my first smiling picture and her smile is so sweet!  I cannot wait to hear her giggle.  These pictures and updates are amazing to receive, but they make my heart ache even harder.  I want to experience these milestones in person - not through a photograph!  I want to be the one teaching her to walk!  I pray these next six months go by quickly..

Things in our life have changed slightly so I will now be able to fully get Naomi's room all prepared.  I am sad that things have changed, but so excited to be able to use the room just for Naomi!  I am now even more motivated to get her crib finished and put together, and to get everything else all decorated and set up.  Now I can fully nest.  :)

mama bear

These past few weeks have been hard for me as I see other families move forward in their adoption process.. I have been struggling to remember that they are ahead of me, started sooner and thus will get to the different milestones sooner. I am learning, very slowly, that it does me no good to compare what is happening to me against other people. God does things differently each time. After all, it is HIS plan and timing.

So, to pass the time I have been reading blogs, sorting through Naomi's things and looking at sewing patterns.  I read a blog to eman the other day that was talking about how to respond to people when they have questions about your children and the circumstances that surround their adoption.  I have had opportunity to talk about this article with another adopting mom, be the person to ask the stupid question and have people ask me the questions.  The author of the blog was making the point of answering questions in such a way as to bring a positive, loving light on adoption.  To use it as an opportunity to educate and advocate, to speak to these people who most likely are not trying to be rude (they just don't know better) with a tone of love since they are probably asking in front of your children.

As I said before, I have already been asked questions about Naomi.  People in my community, especially at church, have been around enough adopting families to know that there are usually special needs attached to the kids.  I have had several people ask what Naomi's need is.  The first time I answered, of course she has SN! She is an orphan! This didn't suffice and the woman persisted. I did end up telling her what was going on with Naomi.  I haven't decided what I plan to say to people, but it will be obvious that Naomi will look different.  She has a big head and it will be several years until her body catches up. I hope that people wont be cruel in their comments,  but I am expecting something.  I want to say that I will be able to take them with grace and will try to follow in this woman's footsteps, but I cannot guarantee that.  I pray that the Lord will give me the strength, wisdom and grace to advocate for my little girl and the rest of the orphans in the world.

I have one measurement of Naomi's head and have compared it to the boys. She has a big head.  According to the information given, her head is the size of a 7 or 8 year old.  Her body is the size of a one year old.  I am amazed that her neck is strong enough to hold her head up!  As I was going through the info I have, I realized that I am eligible for an update through our agency.  So, I have emailed and asked. They told me they would ask.  I am asking for updated measurements among other things.  I am really interested in how her head will compare.  I am hoping that the number will either be the same or less - not more. If they are more, then that would make me think her shunt is not working properly, which of course would be not so good..  I have not actually talked to a neurologist, instead taking the info I have been given on faith.  I am also asking for any of Naomi's medical files, ct scans, etc.  These would be very helpful in knowing what is going on inside her head.

I am really hoping for a few more pictures, too... I will add her new numbers to our measuring stick.  May as well start keeping track of her too, like I do with the boys. I cant wait to stand her up there for real!

Sit tight my love.  We will be there before the year is up, most likely sooner than that!  I cannot wait to snuggle your little neck, kiss your sweet lips and cheeks. I love you, Naomi, my sweet delight! I will always protect and advocate for you! You are my daughter and I will fight for you just as fiercely as I do for your brothers!

LID!!

One more hurdle has been jumped - now we wait for LOA. Thank you, Jesus!

On another note, last week was spring break. We had lots of play dates, but only one park day.  Here is a picture of the boys and their buddies climbing a tree.  I love this picture - it is the perfect picture of "the boys."  John is in the middle, looking over his shoulder.  Jacob is on the right, in the blue shirt.  Love these boys - all of them!

We will be taking a second spring break though in a few weeks when we go to the grandparents.  My mom is hosting a yard sale for us!  I will be working all week with her getting ready, while my dad tries to keep the boys busy.  He has plans to take them fishing.  :) 

DTC!!!!

sister sue... we are moving forward!

We got confirmation that our dossier is enroute to china. I dont have an exact date for when it was sent out, but I did some looking through emails and I *think* it could have gone out as long ago as march 15. (I am hoping to get a date for when it actually did go out) if it did go out then, we could be logged in soon! This would be amazing, of course. :)

I have been organizing your things, my little delight.  You have an amazing collection of clothes already.  I have a sweet pair of squeaky shoes for you. They are dalmation print and oh, so, cute! I cant wait to have you home!

Please, Jesus, keep my girl safe. Snuggle her in while she waits for us. Strengthen her body and protect her heart and mind. Give us strength as we wait.  Please provide the means to make this all possible! Thank you, Lord, for this little girl. Thank you for how you have already provided and what you are going to do. Continue to prepare our hearts as well as those that will surround Naomi. Fill us all with a love that can only come from You. Thank you Jesus - all glory goes to You!

greatful hearts

i absolutely adore my children.  there are moments where my heart surges with love.  tonight had one of those moments.  the boys asked to eat their dinner outside since the weather is so nice - perfect spring weather.  i told them yes, set their plates on a little box for them to use as a table and went back inside.  as they were getting themselves situated i overheard one of them say to the other, "lets pray."  i quickly grabbed my phone to take a picture - how could i resist?  :)  thank you, sweet Jesus, for blessing me with boys that have greatful hearts! 

challanges

This is an email i wrote to a friend in February..  putting it here so i can look back at how the Lord is faithfully bringing me through the challanges of our adoption process

So, as we have discussed before, i have been struggling with how all of  this money is going to come together.  the other night, i was having trouble falling asleep so was praying off and on, arguing/discussing/pleading/whining with the Lord about adoption money.  i finally fell asleep only to wake up again later in the night.  i started praying again and realized that even though i wasnt physically working, i was striving to earn this money without seeking the Lord's plan or asking His permission.  so, i confessed and asked for forgiveness.  since then, i have been asking the Lord what we are supposed to do, how this money is going to get paid for, etc.  i confess, i havent been reading the word the past few days - today, finally, i couldnt take it any longer.  the baseball bat upside the head finally was giving me a headache -ha!  i like to dig my heels in, apparently.
i opened up the parenting plan on my Bible app and it was titled "trusting God part 2".  so, i went back to yesterday's part 1 - it talks about how God will work through trials in ways that will astonish, ways that you would not believe it you were told.  scriptures were romans 11:33 - oh the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God!  how unsearchable are his judgements and how unfathomable his ways.  And Habakkuk 1:5 - "look among the nations and watch - be utterly astounded! for I will work a work in your days which you would not believe, though it were told you."  there is destruction happening (or going to happen) to Judea in this chapter and the Lord is telling Habakkuk what will be going down. 
after reading this, i again asked what am i supposed to do, Lord?  how are we supposed to go about this?  am i supposed to do anything?
part2:  this day talks about God having a plan and we have to trust him (duh - sometimes i am really dense though).  Habakkuk found a way to trust and rejoice in the Lord even though destruction was coming (really, Lord? am I going to be destroyed?  i hope not...).  God's ways are impossible to fully understand.  our job is to wait quietly and let the Lord's will be done.  here are the verses:  Psm 46:10 - "be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations; I will be exalted in the earth!" the other is Habakkuk 3:17-18 - "Though the fig tree may not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines; though the labor of the olive may fail, and the fields yield no food; though the flock may be cut off from the fold, and there be no herd in the stalls - yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation."
what is ridiculous is that it took me reading through all of these verses, having more questions asked, to typing this, for me to see the part about waiting quietly and being still.....  i dont know what that is supposed to look like - am i supposed to give all responsibility to eman for planning/filling out grant apps/fundraising/etc?  i dont know.  am i supposed to do absolutely nothing and just pray?  probably.  gah!!!  this is my but, God moment - except it is me arguing.  seriously, that is physically painful for me not to think, scheme, plan and execute!  especially when it looks to me like eman is doing nothing.  of course, i have no idea what is going on in his private prayer life.  i can only pray that the Lord is nudging his heart to be praying too.  we pray together sometimes, but clearly we need to be doing it WAY more often - seeking the Lord's plan together.  right now, it feels like we are floating side by side, tethered loosely.  tomorrow, while the boys are in class, i am hoping to get coffee with my hub, and walk together, talk together and pray together.  will you be praying for us?  i want the HS to be moving in our hearts, reuniting and joining us together - 3 stranded cord is not easily broken.

I just read through all of Hab 3 - the Lord is mighty and powerful!  He does crazy things and the earth trembles - how am i still worried about money being provided?!  Father God, forgive my unbelief!  Please help me to be still and wait on You!  Reunite me with my beloved - make us a 3 strand cord with You - woven so tightly we would be like 1.
Hab 3:18-19: Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the the God of my salvation.  THe Lord God is my strength; He will make my feet like deer's feet, and He will make me walk on my high hills.

I serve The Great Encourager!

I planned to blog, recognizing that it has been quite a while since I have done so, but needed to make a quick phone call first.  Per normal, the quick phone call turned into a much longer conversation discussing things that I did not intend to talk about: adoption costs and expenses.  I got off the phone feeling quite discouraged which is exactly opposite from where I was before the conversation.  Isnt that just the way Satan likes to play us?  He takes our excitement and joy, spits on it and turns it to mud.  Arg.  But, The Great Encourager is ALWAYS faithful to turn that around when we seek Him!  Yay, God!!  Today's devotional was all about the power of the Spirit, reminding us that it is not human strength or power that accomplishes His will; it is the Spirit.  Zechariah 4:6 - So he answered and said to me: "This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: 'Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,' Says the Lord of hosts."

So, I am going to reset my heart through His Spirit and still share my excitement! (Thank you, Jesus, for being so faithful!!!)  This past weekend, Eman and I went up to our church ranch for a mini ministry retreat.  It was really neat.  Each pastor took a turn teaching on different aspects of ministry - all of them made me reflect on the ministry of adoption.  I am not able to verbalize all of what took shape in my heart, but everything combined created the perfect storm (liberally coated by my crazy hormones) when we got home Saturday night.  Poor Eman got the brunt of my crazy.  ;)  (Again, I am so thankful for the Lord's faithfulness - He has paired me with a man that loves me through that crazy!)  At the end of my tearful evening, we were able to meet in the middle of how we are approaching the big mountain of fees.  The gist of it all is this:  I am very works oriented - I really struggle sitting back and allowing the Lord to work.  I am always coming up with different ideas of what WE can do to raise funds.  Eman, on the other hand, has had MANY opportunities for the Lord to provide for his needs and is willing and able to sit back and let the Lord work.  He is also anti-fundraisers, to an extent, because it forces us to be out in the public eye, most likely being ridiculous.  Eman has had his fill of ridiculous doing many years of Young Life and hanging out with high schoolers. 

Sunday morning, I told Eman that I still wanted to do something, but that I wanted to use the skills that the Lord has given each of us.  I really enjoy sewing and Eman is an artist (who knew, right?!).  Eman agreed that we should use our skills and time.  I was so excited that we were on the same page with a plan!  We received some adoption money in the mail that we are using as "seed" money to purchase some supplies.  I will be sewing some little girl dresses and skirts and Eman will help me create some art work.  We are going to create a page on FB that will be dedicated to showing off our projects (it isnt set up yet, but will be called Bringing Naomi Home).  My goal is to double the amount that we got in the mail, if the Lord blesses our efforts with more than that, sweet.

Yesterday, I had a friend offer to grow plants for me to sell and today, I had another friend text me a fundraising idea.  What is interesting, is I had presented this idea to Eman a few weeks ago, prior to the Lord mashing both of our hearts, and he thought it was LAME!  Today, I showed him the thread of texts and he seemed more open to it.  Isnt it funny how the Lord changes our opinions?  It really is ALL in the timing.

This all brings us to this afternoon - I was so excited and encouraged to have friends come around me to support what we are doing!  I am certainly blessed!  The Lord brought this passage to mind: "So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to  you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.  Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'  For after all these thing the Gentiles seek.  For your Heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.  But see first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."  Matthew 6:28-34

I love that the Lord knows our EVERY need and wants to provide for us!  All we need to do is ask - but what is even more cool is He knows BEFORE we ask!  I serve The Great Provider too!