I am not in control!

Do not be anxious about anything, 

but in every situation, by prayer and petitition, 

with thanksgiving, 

present your requests to God.

Phil 4:6

I really hate it that when I am really trying to be in the Lord's shadow, everything seems to break loose.  It all goes to heck in a hand basket!  But, the reality is it is just the nasty in my heart that is scratching and tearing at the goodness the Lord is wanting to bless me with.  That reality makes my heart heavy and sad..  However, scripture tells us that His mercies are new every morning and if they are new every morning, then they are also new every minute.  All I have to do is get on my knees, confess my wretched heart, and I am washed new and clean because of His great love!  You know what is crazy?  THAT reality makes my heart heavy too - I am so thankful for what He does and gives me everyday, but I am so guilty and unworthy of it.  Isnt it amazing that while we were yet sinners Christ died for (my) our sins!!!  He loved me before I even existed.  Before all of my great grans even existed!  What is really neat is that while I am sad about the state of my heart, the Holy Spirit is reminding me of all these tidbits of scripture.  He is reminding me of the truth that I have hidden in my heart!  Thank you, Father, for these hard moments.  Thank you for the sweet reminders of who I am in You.  I am not that yuckiness - I am a new creation!  The old is gone.  (Please dont ask me for referrences - I have no idea where each of these verses are located.  Ha!)

I had someone on FB refer me to Hebrews 4 on something different then above.  I read it this morning and I really love the very last verse:  

Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, 

so that we may receive mercy and find grace 

to help us in our time of need.

Heb 4: 16

Jesus was tempted just like us.  He understands our weaknesses and wants to help us!  We just need to walk right up to his throne and ask!

Thank you, Father, for showing me who I am in my flesh.  Thank you for these hard times that help refine me into a person more like Christ.  Show me how to be thankful in ALL situations, to not be anxious, and to trust in Your great plan!