Sweet little charmer..

Tonight we are packing our bags and making preparations to return home. Eman and I are so ready. China has been fun - it has been so good to experience the culture that our sweet girl has come from. Lord willing we will return to visit again when Naomi is older and able to experience the culture too.

Here are some things we need you to know and understand about Naomi.

She has lived in an orphanage all of her life with a rotating staff of caretakers. She has never had a single person (or set of parents) to love her, teach her or take care of her. Because of this, Eman and I are working hard on our bonding with her - to form a parent/child relationship. We will need your cooperation and help in this endeavor. 

Our little delight has a smile that will melt the hardest of hearts (and I'm not just saying that because I am her mommy). If you catch her eye, she will turn on her charm with her sweet smile and probably  reach her hand out to you. You can say hello and touch her hand, but please do not let her touch your face. Once you have greeted, please ignore her, especially if you are a man. Men are fun and exciting to Naomi as she has not had many interactions with them growing up. I know that sounds a bit harsh, but we need to teach her appropriate boundaries as she does not have any. We need her to find her love and acceptance from her parents - not strangers (or even friends). These boundaries will loosen with time, as Eman and I see fit.

Until we feel like she has formed a true bond with us as her parents and understands appropriate boundaries and relationships, we ask that you do not pick her up, rub her back, tickle her, give her anything (including food or drink), change her diaper or anything else you would do for a friend's child. Believe me, I KNOW this is hard. If she needs any of these things, please either let me know or direct her to me (or eman). As her parents, we need to be the only ones supplying her EVERY need. 

For a few weeks (or longer) we will be staying home and keeping things very low key. This will be a time for us to introduce Naomi to our routine as a family. I expect her to regress a little bit once we are home. While Eman and I will still be with her, everything else will be completely different - smells, sounds, sights, food, the language. Everything! If you are bringing us a meal please only stay for just a few minutes (I am already grateful for those of you that are bringing something!). If you would like to come by and say hi, text or call first. If we say no, do not be offended. Eman, Naomi and I will be jet leg and exhausted for quite sometime and we may just not be up for visitors. We will also be making the rounds with Dr visits too, so may just be busy. Please be flexible and gracious with us.

Please also continue to pray for our family as our adventure is really just beginning. We are all finished (mostly) with the paper chase, but now we get to start the adventure of being a family of five and learning what that is all about. We will be continuing to learn who Naomi is while she learns who we are. 

Thank you for your support, prayers and understanding! Eman & Megan

Consulate appointment!

Today eman and I swore an oath to care for our little girl - to fulfill this adoption to the best of our abilities. We did this with a group of 10-12 other families in front of an US adoption official. It was pretty cool. I got a little bit choked up. :) This was the last step in being able to bring Naomi home with us to join our family. This was the easiest step out of all of the things we did throughout this past year. 

This has been a pretty amazing trip. I never thought I would go to China, nor that I would have a little girl! God has an amazing way of changing our plans and making them better than we could imagine.

I am so, so thankful for our agency! If we do this again, there is no doubt we will use Lifeline again. It is so nice to know that they are praying for you, encouraging, supporting and holding your hand through every hoop that needs to be jumped through! I truly cannot say enough good things about lifeline. I love them! 

I am also so thankful for my family and friends! Their support and encouragement has been what carried me through moments of frustration and disappointment. They celebrated and listened. I know that this will continue as eman and I begin the next phase of things with Naomi. These people have been indispensable!

I am also so very thankful for the many people, family, friends, acquaintances and complete strangers, that rallied around us and supported us financially. It is amazing to see how The Lord used these people to bring this little girl home! 

Lastly, I am so thankful for the perfect example of adoption that My Heavenly Father has laid out for us. When we ask Jesus into our hearts, we are grafted or adopted into His kingdoms. He made this possible by dying on the cross, then rising from the dead after being buried for 3 days! He paid the price for our sins using his body to be the sacrificial lamb. This made it possible for me (and you!) to live with Him in heaven for eternity! How cool is that?!

10 days past gotcha..

So far things have been going quite smoothly with our little mei-mei. She is a sweet, smiley little girl, most of the time. She is a pro at digging in her heels and we have had several round abouts with her. Eman and I have been learning a new parenting style with this little girl and I know the learning curve has not gotten steep yet..

Right now, the most difficult thing is missing the boys, second not having a true form of communication with Naomi. She understands our tone, but not necessarily words. Today she has begun to mimic me on more words. I tell her regularly "mama ai ne" (mama loves you) and she will whisper it back to me. It is so sweet! I don't know if she is just repeating it to herself as a confidence builder or if she is just mimicking without knowing what it means. 

I expect the curve to spike quite dramatically when we get home. First off, Naomi will be in a completely foreign environment - new smells, new sights, new people, new language, new lifestyle, new time zone. 100% will be different except me and eman. Mama and baba will still be there, until eman goes back to work. 

Second, mama will no longer exclusively be at Naomi's beck and call. She will have to share me with two other children that also need to be loved and cared for. This means that I will not be able to carry her around everywhere - she will need to get herself around a little bit more.

Which leads me to number 3 - Naomi cannot walk on her own. She is not strong enough nor does she have enough balance or confidence to make this happen. The lack of balances makes Naomi very nervous and panicky. In the orphanage, she sat in a walker throughout the day. Our doggy, Coco, loves to stick her long snout into little faces and tends to knock little kids down in her exuberance. Naomi has had zero experience with dogs, so this will lead to more panic and fear.

I think this will all add up to creating the perfect storm..

Until that time, eman and I are enjoying our sweet smiley girl. She is growing in her own confidence and as well as in us. 

Thank you Jesus for this sweet girl!! 

China!!

Well, we have arrived, had a sleep and breakfast. Now we wait. Again. I should be a serious pro at this, by now!! We will meet our guide at 3:30 to go to the Civil Affairs Office to get Naomi. Until then, we will hang out, organize ourselves and maybe do some walking around. 

Our day was excruciating long yesterday - we woke up at 4am, left our house a bit after 6 to drive to Seatac. Checked into our flight about noon, left Seattle at 2. We landed in Beijing about 12 hrs later - I think it was almost 5, but don't remember. :) the flight was loooonnnngggg!!!!! I am nervous to do it again with a two year old! The seats are narrow! My poor hubby just fit, thankfully we volunteered to sit at the bulk head so had lots of leg room and space to stand and stretch. The crew was very polite, the people on the plane very quiet, including the few children and infants. Again, makes me nervous!! 

We had a long layover in the Beijing airport, our flight was delayed an hour, too. Eman and I were so exhausted at this point - both of fell asleep on the floor and made quite the spectacle of ourselves. We were so happy to finally land in Xian and meet our guide. I almost cried from sheer exhaustion when we met her. It was amazing to get to the hotel and flop on the bed. We both passed out quite quickly after having a bath and snack. Our bed is HUGE. Celine (our guide) said they pushed two beds together for us. :) We have a view of the coy pond which is quite lovely.

Breakfast is buffet style. There was much of the same style breakfast foods that we eat, minus all of the sweet rolls, plus lots of vegetables, noodles, congee (we tried it and didn't love it..), and other stuff that I don't remember. Each item is labeled in English and Chinese. Lunch and dinner will be on our own. More later - eman wants to take a walk.

We just came back to our room from a little adventuring. We wondered around our hotel, which is very nice, btw, and then out on the street. Lots of brown sky/smog and crazy traffic, horns always blowing. We crossed over the street on a foot bridge and watched traffic for a while. It is amazing to see motorized bicycles weaving in and out of traffic, loaded down with whatever - sinks, windows, stacks of boxes, etc. also, lots of mopeds and scooters, none of the riders wearing helmets, either. We saw several with a dad driving their little child somewhere. On our way back to the hotel, we crossed the actual street. That was an adventure that made my heart race! We crossed with another more cautious Chinese couple. It felt like we nearly were run down, but I think that was just my nerves. :) traffic slows but does not stop for pedestrians. Traffic laws are suggestions and I don't think they are ever followed, especially by the motor scooters. 

Just a few low hanging electrical wires.. No biggie. 

I am amazed by how few young children we have seen - so different than in the US where you see kids everywhere you go! I don't know if they are in school or just left at home? When we were headed back to the hotel, we saw more young teens. 

In 2 hours, we will have our girl..!! The hotel has a little crib in the room for us to use. I have her blankie and cozy bear all ready for her. Our guide showed us a video she was able to take of N. Celine was up in Yulin City for a training hosted by the CCCWA (Chinas adoption officials, etc). The video shows Naomi playing in her walker with a little boy next to her. The boy takes a toy from Naomi. She, very promptly, whacked him in the back of the head! Ha! She apparently has some spunk and knows how to look out for herself! This also confirms my nervousness of getting an untrained (by my polite American standards) two year old. She has definitely trained herself by orphanage standards. ;)

Week 2!

We are officially on the second half of our trip! We arrived in Guangzhou tonight and oh boy is it muggy here!!! Wow. I think this will be my fall back if I am EVER tempted to move to the south. ;) I think I will be borrowing a stroller for the rest of the week. Being all copied up to Miss Naomi in the sweltering heat does not sound so fabulous.

We were told that the garden hotel would be the nicest hotel we would ever stay at and this does not even prepare you!! We pulled in and Eman told me he needed to go buy a couple button up shirts to wear through the lobby. It is insanely fancy! I would like to take the suite layout back home to use for my master bedroom suite - just a quick remodel, right?! ;)

From what we have seen so far, in the dark, this city is much more fancy than Xian. Eman compared the two as of Xian is Spokane and GZ is LA. While heading here, a bright red Ferrari past us..! I am a small town girl - is it totally obvious? Lol

This week has been a huge learning process. We are slowly learning about who Naomi XinYu is and probably will be doing that for a long time. But, here is what we know so far. She is so stinkin cute, not many can resist her. She is quite reserved in public and/or new environments. When she is comfortable, she will talk and giggle. Her language is not really Chinese. She does have a few Chinese words that our guide was able to translate for us, but a lot of it is gibberish. I don't know if it is her own language or maybe one that was understood by other kids in the orphanage too?

She is smarter than I think we have discovered yet. She likes to play the helpless card and have us feed her and help her drink - she is fully capable of doing both. We are really trying not to play into that, especially with drinking from her cup. She does not know how to use a spoon, although she will try (ie play with it). And, all of these things and everything else, is all on her terms. We are also trying to not allow her to be the boss in all situations. She needs to know that eman and I are in charge and we will take care of her - she is no longer the boss, she is the child.

She is a typical 2 year old and LOVES to push boundaries especially when she is feeling naughty. We have had a few "mommy really is telling you no and she really does mean it" instances. For instance, tonight on the airplane when she kept trying to unbuckle her seat belt while we were landing. Uh, no, child. You have to stay seated and buckled for this part.

She is in the clingy suction cup stage where she only wants to be with me. Oh boy, this is hard. I am the one that pushes away when someone becomes to clingy or needy. Thank goodness The Lord has given me a true love for this little cling-on and I understand that she is still figuring out what is going on. Eman and I have been trading carrying duties more and making her sit with daddy for a while after she stops crying. Then she can come sit with me. But, usually, she remembers that she DOES actually like her daddy and doesn't feel the need to come back to me to feel safe.

She is super wobbly and startles very easily. The startle has gotten better, but her wobble will be there until she gets stronger all around. She can sit up well unsupported, but likes to lean back. She is supposed to be able to crawl, but we haven't seen that yet. I think that falls into the I don't want to category, so I won't. She can not stand on her own or walk. She can walk along things for a few steps before she gets tired. We are trying to encourage more moving to get those legs stronger.

I know there's more, but it is almost 11 and I'm tired. Tomorrow we take Naomi to see the embassy Dr to have a medical exam done. They will test her for TB among other things. Tuesday is our consulate appt and that's all I know for now of the weeks plans.

How many days has it been now? I've lost count..

I am so turned around with my days - what day of the week is it?! Email is sketchy, face book nonexistent, but Instagram works. Weird.

Today we went to the Big Wild Goose Pagoda for a tour. It was very beautiful - I love traditional Chinese artwork!! the Buddhas are not such a big deal to me, clearly, but the craftsmanship was incredible! There were huge murals carved out and pieced together out of different colored jade, different ones carved from Koa wood that covered two or three walls and then also painted murals. All told stories of the masked monk's life or journey to becoming the "Enlightened One". There were also some that were of the laughing Buddha (the big fat one) or the Goddess of Mercy. Both of these are the two most favorite Buddhas.

The pagoda tower is 7 stories tall. It is not the original though, it is actually the third one constructed. The first two came down because of the ground shifting. It is also taller than the original. All of the buildings on the grounds are built in the traditional Chinese architecture. There are no nails holding the pieces together - they are all tongue in groove style, nestled and cut to fit just perfectly.

One of the stores/shops/whatever had statues of the astrological chart and we were given cards to figure out what year of animal we were born in. Once that was figured out, they gave us a free "chop" with that image. A chop is a piece of marble with a design carved into the end to create a stamp. I was able to get a card stamped for each of our kids as well as one for eman and myself. They then tried to get us to buy one (or more) from them. No dice. We bought overpriced ice cream instead. :)

The weather was perfect today for touring - it is warm, but also a nice breeze that made it very comfortable. I was carrying Naomi, so took no pictures. Eman was the camera man.

Tomorrow we will take an hour drive to see the terra cotta warriors. I don't like the hour long drive, but am excited to see this. We will also do a tour on how they are made.

Sent from my iPhone

Gotcha

Yesterday we got Naomi!! We met her at the Civil Affairs Office along with at least 20 other families. It was noisy and chaotic and HOT. Many of the kids were crying while parents shook toys, talked to them and did what they could to make their babies stop crying. It was overwhelming for me, I cannot imagine how these little children were feeling!

Naomi was also very overwhelmed and tired. She let me hold her when we first got there. She would reach up and touch me, smile and lean in as if for a kiss or to bump her head against mine. Her nanny was also there. It was hard to see her nanny crying and sad - she would have to walk away from time to time. Made me sad too.. I think that Naomi was cared for and maybe even loved by this woman. They had gotten her a new outfit and shoes to bring her in. Cute, pink and, again, hot. We stayed for about 30 minutes before heading to Walmart to get a few supplies.

Walmart in china is like our Walmart but times 3 or 4. Yesterday was Sunday so our guide said it was especially busy. If it had not been so crowded, it would have been fun to stroll around and check things out. However, I don't feel like Celine is a stroll around type - she is all business. Eman bought a box of Oreos with pink filling, maybe strawberry? We also got some little cracker snacks and formula. Naomi wanted nothing to do w the bottle Eman made her. She made a disgusted face and promptly spit the nipple out. She will, however, drink water from a sip cup. She did not like the pumpkin congee that Celine picked out for her, either. She ate a piece of bread and a gummy vitamin. We also gave her one of those puff things that babies eat and she cried with it hanging out of her mouth. Guess those are a no-go too..

We gave her a bath before bedtime and she seemed to enjoy herself, but had a grip on the handle. She is very nervous to fall backwards. She let me wash her body and get her hair wet without a fuss. She started to complain though as I was rinsing the shampoo out. She was very happy to be snuggled up into her towel after bath time. She sat with eman while he dried her and would stare at him and then smile. He absolutely won her over before bed. He laid her down next to him and played peek a boo and "booped" her nose. She would laugh and then reach out her hand to boop Eman's nose, noise and all. She is an amazing mimic and picks things up quickly.

She also likes the stacking cups I brought. Both Eman and I have had fun playing with her with those. It didn't take her long to figure out how to stack them together or to set them out in a line. We handed them back and forth, stacked and unstacked while Eman got dinner. Then she played again with Eman.

Please pray for continued bonding - today we go back to the civil affairs bldg to do paperwork. We will be there all day, for the most part. We will see her nanny and the other orphanage worker again to ask more questions. Naomi also has a yucky sounding cough that we were told started on the train ride here. She has had a couple flegmy coughing sessions during the night, but hasn't seemed to wake up from them. I am praying that neither eman or I get sick too and that hers goes away quickly.

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And the journey begins!!!

We are on our way, Naomi Xin Yu!! Our journey to China is now underway. You probably will have no idea your world is soon to change until you are bundled up and headed to the train station and even then you, most likely, will not know how things will change. I pray you are not scared for long, that you will feel safe with us quickly. My heart is full of emotion and my eyes keep filling with tears, threatening to spill over. I think your mama will be a hot mess before you even come through our doors!! 

God has provided for you to come home in ways we could never have imagined. He has provided for us at the last minute - exactly when we needed it. We were short almost $2500 days before we needed to leave, and given the last $1000 in the bank parking lot! We were expecting to have a wild adventure of local taxi drivers and foot exploration instead of trustworthy drivers and paid tours. But God provided! He moved people's hearts to be more than generous to bring you home! You are loved more than you know, little girl!! There is no other explanation for all of this, then God loves you - you have worth! You have so much worth. We have paid a great price for you, to ransom you from a life that no child deserves. But Jesus has paid the ultimate ransom for, not just you, but all of us!! He has made us a part of the most beautiful adoption story!! He died on the cross and rose from the grave 3 days later, paying the ultimate price, ransoming us from sin and death. He has given us the opportunity to become a part of His family. All we need to do is believe in Him and follow His word! We will soon whisper this story to you as we hold you and rock you! We will sing and dance together in celebration of His great love!  

Your little world is going to expand very quickly. Here are some pictures of our morning as we head towards you..

Your brothers are ready for you to be home - they have been counting down!

Five days..

My lovely daughter,

I will be laying eyes, hands and lips on you in five more days!! I can hardly wait to do all of my mommy duties of loving, cuddling and smooching you up!! I have been praying for you so much these last few days. I know our first week or so could be a little tumultuous.. I have been praying that our sweet Jesus has been whispering His plans into your heart - plans of a family that just cant wait anymore to love you! I have been praying that He has  been preparing your heart to receive love and to give it in return. I have been asking Him to give you strength as your world changes forever. My sweet, your mommy has been praying the same thing for her heart too! But do you know what is so very special about our Sweet Jesus? He has been preparing our hearts for each other from the beginning of time! Isn't that amazing?! He knew this moment would come and knows exactly how it will play out. This gives me so much comfort!!

My little Naomi, I am so excited to nuzzle your sweaty little neck for the first time, to smell your hair and kiss your head. I am so excited to see you smile and hear you giggle! I wonder what your voice will sound like? Will it be soft or squeaky? I cannot wait to sing to you and rock you in my arms - to squeeze you tight, tight enough that you know my arms will always be there to squeeze you again and again! I cannot wait to hold your tiny hands in mine, to marvel at your little finger nails, to tickle your feet and to rub your back! I cannot wait for you to experience what life is like with a mommy who loves you desperately, to have a daddy that will always protect you and two big brothers that will smash heads on anyone that picks on you! They have been planning for months! :) They have also been coloring pictures, practicing their story books and setting up toys to help you settle into the role of little sister! They are not only ready to defend and protect you, but to love and care for you too!

Oh my love, you are going to change lives! Do you know how important you are??!!  Our Heavenly Father has big plans for you and I, for one, am so excited to see His tapestry unfold.

Five more days, Naomi Xin Yu. Just five more days. Are you ready because we sure are!!!

Nine days!

Tomorrow is our project day -  today we have been gathering supplies and sending off reminder emails. We have been abundantly blessed by our community and friends, too. Pasco Rentals donated financially and all the rock for the front yard as well as the use of their trailer (that dumps!). Home Depot donated $75 in gift certificates. Little Caesars Pizza donated 5 pizzas plus bread sticks. A local coffee shop roasts their own coffee and has donated a few pounds for the morning. Yoke's Grocery store donated a $50 gift card (originally it was going to be $35, but they added to it because of the heart felt thanks!) Love how God provides and above and beyond what we expect!! Oh! I forgot - my friend Bonnie is bringing a snow cone machine and signs to sell snow cones to the neighborhood and provide a free snow cone to the workers! All of her proceeds will be donated to our adoption fund! I think the snow cones will be the best part. :) I haven't told the boys yet - they are going to be thrilled!

Speaking of the boys, they are spending the night with Grandpa and Granny leaving Eman and I the night off! Originally we were planning a full on date night, but it has changed into a date night at home. I think this will be nicer, honestly. We have been so busy, it will be nice to just be home, together. It will be a while before we get this opportunity again! 

We have 9 more days before we will be in China, holding our delight - Naomi! Gah!!! We are still needing another $3000 and all day yesterday I was in a panic, stressed to the MAX! I whined and cried to The Lord off and on all day. Finally, He spanked me through my friend. I don't have the money because we don't need the money - yet. I am still waiting for the final wire amount which means I don't have to wire anything just yet. We have a few more days. :) The were several things that came in yesterday, too, even while I was still freaking out. Truly, The Lord knows our needs and He WILL provide. It is never in the way we expect or according to our timing either. We. Just. Have. To. Trust. The end.

So, while I wait, I get to lay in the cool grass and watch the clouds roll by. Literally. 

The heavens declare the glory of God; And the firmament shows His handiwork. (Psalms 19:1 NKJV)

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for the beautiful display. Thank you for all you have provided. Thank you for what will still happen. Please forgive my weak, doubtful heart. Help me to keep my focus on YOU and what YOU will do. You are the strength in my weakness. Keep me on my knees Lord!! Bring my girl home.

Waiting..

We are all in a waiting pattern right now (again - after all, waiting is the name of the game when it comes to adoption). This wait is different from all the rest though. We are finally waiting for the day we leave - 8 days until we are boarding the airplane!! Suitcases have been pulled out, laundry is being processed and the house is in various stages of deep cleaning, ready to be closed up for two weeks. It is really amazing to look back to where we started. We didn't have any extra money to pay the fees that are required for an adoption. There were many doubts and fears that this could/would even happen! But, here we are, a week from traveling, with only a couple thousand left to raise (at last check). This can only be attributed to The Lord's provision. We are not that great with our money, nor do we make enough to have saved $30,000+ to pay all of this on our own, in 17 months. No way, no how. Thank you Jesus for providing!!

When I say we are all waiting, I really mean we are all waiting.. Even our Cocoa Bear. :) This is one of her favorite places to sprawl out and snooze. She will be so happy to have another child's face to like and snuffle! Poor Naomi... ;)

I guess she wants to come along..

Night light

Jacob discovered my small jar of glow in the dark paint today. He made a picture for himself and one for his sister. He told me he made a night light for her so she wouldn't be scared when she came home. It has a couple of hearts and some other shapes on it. Seriously..?? How sweet is this boy?! I am so excited to bring her home to meet these boys that are already in LOVE with her! Thank you Jesus for planting these seeds in their hearts! 

School is in session!!

School has begun - well, we started last week. School in the outside world started today. Lots of first day pics, so here are ours..

Give $5, save a life!!!

On August 31, we will be working on a local widow's home.  This project is in conjunction with Both Hands and Lifesong for Orphans.  Both Hands is a non-profit organization that helps families raise funds for their adoption while completing a home improvement project on a widow's house.  Both Hands - one for the widow, one for the orphan.  Supplies for the project are donated from businesses in the area, while funds are donated to the adopting family by friends and family.  These funds are used to help with adoption expenses.  We are very close to being fully funded, but not quite there.  We still need $2500.

Our goal is to get 500 people to donate $5 each in 14 days.  We need your help with 3 simple things.

Watch.

 Following along with our blog will keep you connected on our journey of bringing Naomi home.

Give.

Send your donation online: www.BothHands.org/Rodrick and click the "DONATE" button.  Follow the online instructions to pay safely with your credit card or PayPal account. (Please note that PayPal does charge a service fee that will decrease your donation) 

Or simply mail a check to Lifesong for Orphans (PO Box 40/202, N Ford St, Gridley, IL 61744).  Please write "Preference Rodrick #3635" in the memo line.

Gifts given through Lifesong for Orphans are tax deductible and will go directly to our account!!

Share.

Please share this page via Facebook, email, twitter, snail mail, text or any other form of communication!  The more you share, the closer we will be to reaching our goal!

Two weeks til take off!!

We leave in two weeks! I cannot believe that it's already this close!! These past few days I have been struggling with doubt about everything - I know it all backs up to attacks, but also not brig firmly rooted. Of all times to NOT have my eyes focused on Him..

Yesterday I read Psalm 25 - so appropriate!! I absolutely love reading what David wrote. The fear, the struggle, the constant barrage from his enemy, is so applicable to this adoption process. The reminders of grace, mercy and providence are also perfect!  These verses were a sweet correction and balm for my heart:

To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.

O my God, I trust in You;

Let me not be ashamed;

Let not my enemies triumph over me,

Indeed, let no one who waits on You be ashamed;

Let those be ashamed who deal treacherously without cause.

Show me Your ways, O Lord;

Teach me Your paths.

Lead me in Your truths and teach me,

For You are the God of my salvation;

On You I wait all the day.

Psalm 25:1-5

Today, it is chapter 27, that calms my spirit.

The Lord is my light and salvation;

WHOM SHALL I FEAR?

The Lord is the strength of my life;

OF WHOM SHALL I BE AFRAID?

When the wicked come against me

To eat up my flesh,

My enemies and does,

They stumbled and fell.

Though an army may encamp against me,

MY HEART SHALL NOT FEAR;

Though war may rise against me,

In this I will be confident.

One thing I have desired of The Lord,

That I will seek:

That I may dwell in the house of The Lord

All the days of my life,

To behold the beauty of The Lord,

And to inquire in His temple.

FOR IN TIME OF TROUBLE

HE SHALL HIDE ME IN HIS PAVILION;

IN THE SECRET PLACE OF HIS TABERNACLE

HE SHALL HIDE ME;

HE SHALL SET ME HIGH UPON A ROCK.

And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me;

THEREFORE I WILL OFFER SACRIFICES OF JOY IN HIS TABERNACLE;

I WILL SING, YES, I WILL SING PRAISES TO THE LORD.

Emphasis is mine - I am nervous as all get out!! But, my Heavenly Father is Good, Merciful, Loving and Gracious. He has provided all we have and will continue to provide all we will ever need! What do I have to be nervous about?! Now, if I can keep that in the forefront of my heart and head, that would be great!!

Getting close..

We are 23 days away from leaving for China!! Aaaahhh!!! I can hardly believe it!! I have one more curtain to make and Naomi's room will be all ready. It is pretty cute. :)

We are waiting on several other things too. One being our travel documents - the things we present to each official in the different cities to make show that we have done what we were supposed to do. The other is raise some more money. We haven't received our final, exact wire amount just yet, but we have been told to expect it to be between $10,500-11,500. I have added up what we have in each pot and we have just over $7000! Yay!! Our Both Hands project is at the end of the month, but I emailed the book keeper  to see where we are at so far. She is super back logged on her email, so not sure when we will hear back.. Hopefully, our pot will grow as we wait! 

In the meantime, I have been helping my BFF with her yard sale prep and attempting to create some other fun crafty things to sell to for her and other adopting friends. This is the fun stuff. :)

It is crazy how we have had enough to pay each item as we have moved forward. The Lord has truly paid our way in this adoption! We have had money when we needed it and never a moment before. I expect this to happen again - He will provide. Of course, it totally makes me nervous as all get out, but I am choosing to trust in Him. I don't have enough stuff to sell to raise the balance, real quick. 

If you read this, please pray with me for provision, trust and peace!  

Pains..

There are several of my close friends that are at various points in the adoption process alongside eman and me. I am so thankful for each of these women. Let me tell you, this process is HARD - the waiting, the mounds of paperwork, the waiting, the unknowns, the waiting, the fundraising, more paperwork and more waiting. This has been a very different trial than I ever expected and I think I could say the same for these other mamas too. Adoption is not for the faint of heart - it is God's will and, thank goodness, He does the strengthening an binding of battle wounds! Phew!

These past few weeks have been hard for each one of us as it relates to adoption. We have had, to name a few, disappointments, miscommunication, lack of communication, and exhaustion. All of us ready to throw in the towel. 

That, however, is NOT an option. We have been called to a much higher purpose. We need to put our flesh to death and let The Lord guide our hearts and minds. This is not easy though, especially when the pity party and beating feels deserved.

Here is what God's word says in Philippians 1:6 - And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. 

Our God WILL complete this good work in us. He will NOT abandon us midway, just as He will not abandon these kids. He has called each of us to bring home different children, to make them as one of our own. How can we argue or quit that when it gets rough? No one has ever told us life would be easy. Certainly there are not any scripture that would say that either. 

Bottom line: It's a work of God to form families in a new way after hurt and trauma. It's total redemption. THIS is so cool! These children were conceived outside of our bodies, yet God has given us a love and desire for them. Sometimes without knowing their faces, always without knowing what they sound like, and who they are! He gives us a small minuscule taste of how deep His love is for us! 

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! (1 John 3:1 NIV)

Father, may all of the glory be given to you not only in our adoption process, but also in these other families! Thank you that you already know our needs! Thank you that you already know the outcome of these journeys! Thank you that you love us so much that you adopted us into your family - we are children of the One True King!

Sweet blessings from Above!

Tickets were purchased on Friday! Eman and I will leave on September 6 for China!!!!! I can hardly believe it yet at the same time seems so unreal!

This weekend we sold bags and bags of kettle corn and caramel corn - nearly 250 bags. We also received about $450 in generous donations from strangers at Walmart! I had a group of friends that also donated their time to help me out. I am so crazy grateful for these families! While the financial support is absolutely important, the family support is even more important. These families demonstrate Christ's unconditional love for not just me, Eman and the boys, but for a little girl they have NEVER met! They are welcoming her into their hearts without any question or doubt! Their support has been unwavering. I am so, so thankful for my friends!!!

Thank you Lord for these sweet blessings!

Consulate appointment and airline tickets!!

We received our consulate confirmation Tuesday night and began the search for airline tickets! Today we decided on an itinerary and will be purchasing them in the morning. We will be flying out on Sept 6, arriving in Xian late on the 7th. Sunday, the 8th, will be Gotcha day!! I cannot believe that we will be meeting Naomi, in the flesh! Paperwork and site seeing will happen for the next few days. Then we fly to Guangzhou for more paperwork and site seeing. Our consulate appointment is on Tuesday, the 17th, and we will fly back home on the 19th. We leave Guangzhou early in the morning and will get back to Seattle a bit after 12 noon. Eman and I will fly, with Naomi, into Pasco, arriving 7ish.  Wow. 

Now, while we wait, we celebrate our family of four.

We also finish up our fundraisers and pray that The Lord blesses us with the rest of what we need. :)

Saturday and Sunday I will be selling kettle korn. Eman is finishing his last weekend of night rotation, but will be helping with a shift Sunday morning.

August 17 is Johnathan's 8th birthday. I'm not sure what the plan is yet, but partying will be on the menu!

August 24 we will be hosting a backyard movie night. We will be selling popcorn, treats and drinks all to help with our expenses.

August 31 we will be doing our Both Hands project. I am super excited for this!! We will be blessing a widow from church, Marjorie. She is a very sweet lady who lives with constant pain left over from her double mastectomy. We are planning on doing gravel in her small front and side yard, so they are no longer cheat grass. In the backyard, we want to build a small patio cover. It is too uncomfortable for Marjorie to sit out in the sunshine. So, we have recruited a builder friend of ours to help design and construct. I know Marjorie is very excited too.

Before we know it, September will be here and it will be time to go! 

Lord Jesus,

Thank you for what you have provided so far!! Thank you that you are faithful to bring us to completion! Help us not to labor in vain - let this bring glory to YOU!!

T to the A!!

Our travel approval has been received by our agency, Lifeline!! This means we have permission from China to cross their borders to collect our child!  Tomorrow the consulate reopens and Karla will ask for our appointment. Eman has decided to ask for a later appointment. First off, we are not fully funded. Second off, we have three fundraisers in the works, one being our Both Hands project. We will be doing this on Aug 31, so asking for a later appointment date allows us to not rush in organizing and completing this project.
I have asked that our appointment be on Monday, September 16. If we are given this date, we would leave for China on September 7! We should hear back by the end of this week what day our appointment will be on for sure and then we can make flight arrangements!
I have been gathering supplies  for the past few weeks and I *think* I have most of what I need. I still need to finish purchasing the gifts for dignitaries, nannies and guides. I also need to purchase a few more essential snacks and supplies. I am sure I will over pack, but am going to do my absolute best not to. :)
In the meantime, we will be having as much fun as a family as possible. John's 8th birthday is in a couple weeks, too.
Here is one of the most recent (and last) pictures I got:

Independence Day

Today is the 4th of July! We have big plans - this afternoon, we will be heading over to our friends house to set up a hotdog BBQ fundraiser.  Each dollar will bring us closer to bringing Naomi home. Each dollar will bring us closer to an independence day for Naomi setting her free of a life of being alone, without a family. I am so excited for this day! I have a patriotic outfit picked out for our daughter to wear. I know that is a bit cheesey, but it has proper symbolism in my mind.

In just a few short weeks we will be getting our approval to travel and about 2 weeks later, we could be boarding a plane to meet our little miss. Not just meet, pick her up and finalize paperwork to make her ours - FOREVER!  Crazy. We still need a chunk of money yet.. I am trusting the Lord to continue to provide, though. He has gotten us this far and will not leave us short.

His love never runs out..

My little Delight,

It has been a long time since I have written here - much has happened!  We are so close to the end of our paper chase and actually coming to get you!  All of our paper work is now in China and we are waiting for the last piece of approval to be dropped off and picked back up at the US consulate before we receive our travel approval.  I can hardly believe it!  These last few weeks have been a whirlwind! 

I have to admit, Little Sister, that while you are always in the back of my mind, you have not been heavy on my heart.  I have allowed the paperwork to consume and numb my heart.  I have turned my focus to the daily tasks of summertime.  I have not been consistently talking to the Lord, seeking His favor for you.  You haven't seemed real to me - more of a pipe dream, a some day.

However, lately, He has been bringing other things related to you to my attention, preparing me for when you really are here.  He has been giving me a compassion for you and how difficult your transition may be.  I know your little world is going to change drastically.  I pray that I am prepared to love you through it, regardless of how you feel towards me.  I pray that I will choose to love you, even when I don't feel it.  I pray for strength and perseverance to hold and rock you when you cry and push me away.  I pray that you will love the love, the touches and the interaction!  I pray that you crave it!

Today, while your Baba was getting ready for work, he turned on Pandora to one of our favorite stations so we could sing to Jesus together.  My sweet Jesus knows how to squeeze my heart and turn my focus onto Him.  He brought you to mind and reminded me of my hope, of my desire to sing to you, to share these songs of love with  you!  I cannot wait to sing to Jesus over you and with you.  I know that you wont know the words and will not actually sing along, but I pray that these songs will bring you peace and joy.  I pray that they comfort you in your distress.

My Heavenly Father is your Heavenly Father too and I cannot wait for you to learn about Him!  I think that you already know who He is - I believe He visits the orphans in their distress.  Soon, my sweet daughter, you will have the chance to hear about Him and learn to know Him.  I pray that He does a mighty work in your life and through your life.  I pray that He uses you to turn hearts back to Him.

I love you, Naomi Xin Yu!  Soon you will know what it feels like to be held and rocked by a mama and baba that love you and desire the best for your life!  Soon, my sweet delight, soon!

redirection..

The past 2 weeks have been a bit crazy here.  Weekend before last, we hosted a yard sale.  Thursday a friend and her two big girls came and helped me set up - there was a LOT of little odds and ends!  No way would I have been ready for Friday had they not helped.  Friday, another friend came and hung out with me while our kids played.  Saturday, for the most part, I was on my own (Eman was sleeping since he was on night rotation).  My in-laws came and hung out for a bit and gave me a bathroom/food break - SO nice since i was about to pop!  Afterwards, I boxed everything up, loaded my truck and took it all down to the Goodwill.  Sunday I was supposed to take the boys to my parents house, but left Monday instead.  I needed a day to clean the house and recover.  ;)
Monday, we drove across the state to my parents to help prepare for another yard sale.  From the very beginning, my prayer was that the Lord would provide $1500 to pay our homestudy fee with our agency.  Mid week, I received notification that we had been approved for a $1500 grant from a Washington state grant organization (yay!!  Thank you, Jesus!!).  I was also praying that the yard sale at my mom's would be like the miracle of the loaves and fishes.  My parents and I worked hard all week getting regular farm chores done as well as pulling out boxes and setting things (lots of things) aside for the yard sale.  This time we were only doing one day, Saturday.  This was a community yard sale day that my mom had signed up for in advance to help us raise some funds (and get rid of some of her junk).
We got everything set up and ready Friday.  When Saturday came, the clouds had moved in and it looked like it was going to rain.  All week we had beautiful, warm, sunny weather.  The forecast said the rain was supposed to hold off until Sunday, but I was praying that Jesus would keep that forecast true, but was still skeptical.  After all, it is western Washington and it rains a lot over there.  It started to sprinkle mid morning, but the clouds blew away and the sun came out!  Again, thank you Jesus!
Traffic was really light and we made only a small amount of money at the sale.  I was trying to keep a right attitude knowing that it was more than we had started with in the morning.  I was also really thankful for the time I got to spend with my mom and the quiet moments where I got to sit and read my book in the sun - rare moments, indeed!  I know my mom was disappointed for us, though.  My parents had said originally that they wanted to hold onto the cash we made so they could give it in a matching grant if we received one.  This, in itself, would be answering my prayer for our sale to be like the miracle of the loaves and fishes.  I was able to share this with my mom and tell her that Jesus was continuing to answer my prayers, even if it was in a different way than how we expected (isnt that just like Him?!).  She then told me that they, my parents, had decided to give us more than what we made, and like originally planned, hold onto it in case we received the matching grant.  I laughed, told her thank you, and said that just in that, Jesus was again answering my prayers!  He was moving in their hearts to give us more than what we had earned - He was multiplying our total!
After I received the letter for our $1500 grant, I asked the Lord to help us get current in our payments with our agency.  We had finished our dossier and sent it off to China a while ago.  I didnt like that we were behind!  While we were at my parents, I received another email from a different group letting us know that we qualified to receive another grant - this one for $1000!  And again, thank you, Lord!  This grant group also would like to hold onto the money in hopes that we receive a matching grant so their gift can also be doubled.  (I didnt figure this out until just the other day, but, this gift, combined with what we were given from my parents, plus what we have in our adoption savings, we have enough to pay off our dossier payment!  Seriously, Lord?!  Again, THANK YOU!!)
Now, this all brings me to the redirection part..  As I mentioned before, having our homestudy paid qualified us to apply for a different grant.  I sent off the application, which started a whole chain of events beginning with our agency needing to submit some financial stuff showing that our homestudy had been paid.  I received a phone call from my social worker saying that our account showed the homestudy had NOT been paid yet.  I was confused - hadnt they received our grant check yet?  The social worker checked again - the money was not there.  I called the grant company and left a message.  I emailed the next day.  Did I mention the deadline for this application was today?! Sunday, I went home.  Still had heard nothing from the first grant folks.  Monday, I talked to my agency, in a panic - could they use the email as proof payment was coming?  I finally got a hold of the grant company.  She told me they hadnt ever received the invoice from my agency.  Oh my goodness!  I scrolled through my out box and realized I had even sent it in the first place!  Ack!!!  Called my agency back, asked if it was possible to get that sent and then have the correct info sent to the grant we were currently working on (you know, the one with today as the deadline?).  My social worker said that normally there is a 48hr turn around for the bookkeeper.  I almost cried.  Still in a complete panic, I started to pray - now, I had been praying, but not truly seeking the Lord.  He was so sweet and faithful to remind me of what He had told me from the very beginning - seek MY face and trust in ME!  I am not capable of making things work - only the Lord can make all of the details come together in time for this app to make the deadline.  Ahh... peace!  Thank you, Lord!  I emailed my SW (again) and told her how the Lrrd had redirected my thoughts and heart and that if it didnt work to get things done in time, that I had peace that the Lord really did have things under control.  (I am such a kook!)
Tuesday (yesterday) I checked my email and had an email from the grant agency - my SW and bookkeeper had gotten their stuff sent in!!  Seriously, they ROCK and work so, so hard for their families.  This sent the next wheel spinning.  I needed to have two personal references done as well as a pastoral reference.  My sweet friends worked hard to get theirs done and sent off last night.  My pastor, who is super busy, worked with us TONIGHT to get his done.  We had until midnight tonight to get everything sent, and we did it!!!  Absolutely amazing - all of these pieces were played just as God knew they would be!  All of the glory has to go to Him!  He created willing hearts to get their parts done in time.  Over and over I will say this - THANK YOU, JESUS!  Now we wait.  Ha!  We should hear back by the end of next month whether we will receive a grant from this agency.  The next application deadline is August 15, which would have put us to the end of September before hearing back.  This date made me nervous..  I dont know when we will be actually traveling, but I am so thankful that we made the current deadline.  Only God knows, at this point, whether we will be granted money from this group. 
All of this craziness, culminating in God's faithful redirection of my heart, has me really excited to see how everything plays out.  I started out this adoption process really stressed about how we would pay everything.  The Lord has slowly, and sometimes painfully, given me peace about how it will all come together.  I KNOW that He has this under control.  I KNOW that He knows where each penny will be coming from and when it will arrive.  I KNOW that I can trust Him to carry my family through this process!  Seriously, it is so amazing to say that!  I cannot imagine how difficult life would be without my Jesus and the hope and peace only He can give!

transitions and growth

This past week God asked me to something that was difficult for me and it resulted in some changes for us as a family.  I am not going to go into details, but basically, I was in a position of either looking the other way on a behavior or holding some accountable.  I chose to obey the Lord's prompting.  When the dust had finally settled several days later, I was really struggling with where things landed.  I knew that I had done what was right according to the scriptures even though this was not a popular opinion, but the result still caused me to grieve. 

Friday night, the Lord gave me a scripture: Gently instruct those who oppose the truth.  Perhaps God will change those people's hearts, and they will learn the truth.  Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil's trap.  For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants. 2 Tim 2:25-26

Saturday I still continued to wrestle and grieve over how things had ended.

Sunday at church the Lord was very sweet to me.  During worship the gal leading was reading scripture about Moses preparing to go to Egypt to set God's people free.  The Lord told Moses to tell the Israelites that I AM was sending him.  This really echoed in my heart - these people needed no other explanation than that.  How can you argue with The Truth?!  It is what it is and comes from I AM. 
One of our church elders taught since our pastor was at a marriage conference and again, the Lord ministered to my heart.  This man was began teaching out of 1 Peter, the jumped to Genesis and then to 2 Peter.  His main point though was that we should be 1 out of 8 - the one that stands for God's Word - rather than 1 of 8 and fitting in with the crowd.  This is the first time I have really chosen to be 1 out of 8 and, oh boy, was it hard!  It is easier to go to another country to share the Gospel than it is to stand up for the Truth to someone you know.  Thank you Jesus for the courage to stand up for You!

Last night at Bible study, I was reminded of the scriptures that I had read Friday night and that I am to continue to pray for this person in the hopes that things are reconciled.  While I would like things to be reconciled between us, I hope that they are reconciled with Christ.  Truly, this is a hard reminder.  I am ready to be done and to move on, but I know that I need to be gracious and merciful and wait...  I need to wait until God says I can be done and I dont think He has yet.

1 Peter 3:13-17
Now, who will want to harm you if you are eager to do good?  But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it.  So don't worry or be afraid of their threats.  Instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life.  And if someone asks about your Christian hope, always be ready to explain it.  But do this in a gentle and respectful way.  Keep your conscience clear.  Then if people speak against you, they will be ashamed when they see what a good life you live because you belong to Christ.  Remember it is better to suffer for doing good, if that is what God wants, than to suffer for doing wrong!

Update!

I sent a request for an update last week, Sunday, requesting more information as well as new measurements/pictures.  Yesterday I woke up to four new pictures as well as new measurements!  These new measurements say that Naomi has grown just over 3 inches and gained almost 6 lbs!  I really hope these measurements are accurate and Naomi is really growing.  My pictures show that she is getting stronger and continuing to develop - I got two of her STANDING!!!  I was so surprised - I hoped that she would be able to sit up and crawl when we get her.  She may be walking!  I also got my first smiling picture and her smile is so sweet!  I cannot wait to hear her giggle.  These pictures and updates are amazing to receive, but they make my heart ache even harder.  I want to experience these milestones in person - not through a photograph!  I want to be the one teaching her to walk!  I pray these next six months go by quickly..

Things in our life have changed slightly so I will now be able to fully get Naomi's room all prepared.  I am sad that things have changed, but so excited to be able to use the room just for Naomi!  I am now even more motivated to get her crib finished and put together, and to get everything else all decorated and set up.  Now I can fully nest.  :)

mama bear

These past few weeks have been hard for me as I see other families move forward in their adoption process.. I have been struggling to remember that they are ahead of me, started sooner and thus will get to the different milestones sooner. I am learning, very slowly, that it does me no good to compare what is happening to me against other people. God does things differently each time. After all, it is HIS plan and timing.

So, to pass the time I have been reading blogs, sorting through Naomi's things and looking at sewing patterns.  I read a blog to eman the other day that was talking about how to respond to people when they have questions about your children and the circumstances that surround their adoption.  I have had opportunity to talk about this article with another adopting mom, be the person to ask the stupid question and have people ask me the questions.  The author of the blog was making the point of answering questions in such a way as to bring a positive, loving light on adoption.  To use it as an opportunity to educate and advocate, to speak to these people who most likely are not trying to be rude (they just don't know better) with a tone of love since they are probably asking in front of your children.

As I said before, I have already been asked questions about Naomi.  People in my community, especially at church, have been around enough adopting families to know that there are usually special needs attached to the kids.  I have had several people ask what Naomi's need is.  The first time I answered, of course she has SN! She is an orphan! This didn't suffice and the woman persisted. I did end up telling her what was going on with Naomi.  I haven't decided what I plan to say to people, but it will be obvious that Naomi will look different.  She has a big head and it will be several years until her body catches up. I hope that people wont be cruel in their comments,  but I am expecting something.  I want to say that I will be able to take them with grace and will try to follow in this woman's footsteps, but I cannot guarantee that.  I pray that the Lord will give me the strength, wisdom and grace to advocate for my little girl and the rest of the orphans in the world.

I have one measurement of Naomi's head and have compared it to the boys. She has a big head.  According to the information given, her head is the size of a 7 or 8 year old.  Her body is the size of a one year old.  I am amazed that her neck is strong enough to hold her head up!  As I was going through the info I have, I realized that I am eligible for an update through our agency.  So, I have emailed and asked. They told me they would ask.  I am asking for updated measurements among other things.  I am really interested in how her head will compare.  I am hoping that the number will either be the same or less - not more. If they are more, then that would make me think her shunt is not working properly, which of course would be not so good..  I have not actually talked to a neurologist, instead taking the info I have been given on faith.  I am also asking for any of Naomi's medical files, ct scans, etc.  These would be very helpful in knowing what is going on inside her head.

I am really hoping for a few more pictures, too... I will add her new numbers to our measuring stick.  May as well start keeping track of her too, like I do with the boys. I cant wait to stand her up there for real!

Sit tight my love.  We will be there before the year is up, most likely sooner than that!  I cannot wait to snuggle your little neck, kiss your sweet lips and cheeks. I love you, Naomi, my sweet delight! I will always protect and advocate for you! You are my daughter and I will fight for you just as fiercely as I do for your brothers!

LID!!

One more hurdle has been jumped - now we wait for LOA. Thank you, Jesus!

On another note, last week was spring break. We had lots of play dates, but only one park day.  Here is a picture of the boys and their buddies climbing a tree.  I love this picture - it is the perfect picture of "the boys."  John is in the middle, looking over his shoulder.  Jacob is on the right, in the blue shirt.  Love these boys - all of them!

We will be taking a second spring break though in a few weeks when we go to the grandparents.  My mom is hosting a yard sale for us!  I will be working all week with her getting ready, while my dad tries to keep the boys busy.  He has plans to take them fishing.  :) 

DTC!!!!

sister sue... we are moving forward!

We got confirmation that our dossier is enroute to china. I dont have an exact date for when it was sent out, but I did some looking through emails and I *think* it could have gone out as long ago as march 15. (I am hoping to get a date for when it actually did go out) if it did go out then, we could be logged in soon! This would be amazing, of course. :)

I have been organizing your things, my little delight.  You have an amazing collection of clothes already.  I have a sweet pair of squeaky shoes for you. They are dalmation print and oh, so, cute! I cant wait to have you home!

Please, Jesus, keep my girl safe. Snuggle her in while she waits for us. Strengthen her body and protect her heart and mind. Give us strength as we wait.  Please provide the means to make this all possible! Thank you, Lord, for this little girl. Thank you for how you have already provided and what you are going to do. Continue to prepare our hearts as well as those that will surround Naomi. Fill us all with a love that can only come from You. Thank you Jesus - all glory goes to You!

greatful hearts

i absolutely adore my children.  there are moments where my heart surges with love.  tonight had one of those moments.  the boys asked to eat their dinner outside since the weather is so nice - perfect spring weather.  i told them yes, set their plates on a little box for them to use as a table and went back inside.  as they were getting themselves situated i overheard one of them say to the other, "lets pray."  i quickly grabbed my phone to take a picture - how could i resist?  :)  thank you, sweet Jesus, for blessing me with boys that have greatful hearts! 

challanges

This is an email i wrote to a friend in February..  putting it here so i can look back at how the Lord is faithfully bringing me through the challanges of our adoption process

So, as we have discussed before, i have been struggling with how all of  this money is going to come together.  the other night, i was having trouble falling asleep so was praying off and on, arguing/discussing/pleading/whining with the Lord about adoption money.  i finally fell asleep only to wake up again later in the night.  i started praying again and realized that even though i wasnt physically working, i was striving to earn this money without seeking the Lord's plan or asking His permission.  so, i confessed and asked for forgiveness.  since then, i have been asking the Lord what we are supposed to do, how this money is going to get paid for, etc.  i confess, i havent been reading the word the past few days - today, finally, i couldnt take it any longer.  the baseball bat upside the head finally was giving me a headache -ha!  i like to dig my heels in, apparently.
i opened up the parenting plan on my Bible app and it was titled "trusting God part 2".  so, i went back to yesterday's part 1 - it talks about how God will work through trials in ways that will astonish, ways that you would not believe it you were told.  scriptures were romans 11:33 - oh the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God!  how unsearchable are his judgements and how unfathomable his ways.  And Habakkuk 1:5 - "look among the nations and watch - be utterly astounded! for I will work a work in your days which you would not believe, though it were told you."  there is destruction happening (or going to happen) to Judea in this chapter and the Lord is telling Habakkuk what will be going down. 
after reading this, i again asked what am i supposed to do, Lord?  how are we supposed to go about this?  am i supposed to do anything?
part2:  this day talks about God having a plan and we have to trust him (duh - sometimes i am really dense though).  Habakkuk found a way to trust and rejoice in the Lord even though destruction was coming (really, Lord? am I going to be destroyed?  i hope not...).  God's ways are impossible to fully understand.  our job is to wait quietly and let the Lord's will be done.  here are the verses:  Psm 46:10 - "be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations; I will be exalted in the earth!" the other is Habakkuk 3:17-18 - "Though the fig tree may not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines; though the labor of the olive may fail, and the fields yield no food; though the flock may be cut off from the fold, and there be no herd in the stalls - yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation."
what is ridiculous is that it took me reading through all of these verses, having more questions asked, to typing this, for me to see the part about waiting quietly and being still.....  i dont know what that is supposed to look like - am i supposed to give all responsibility to eman for planning/filling out grant apps/fundraising/etc?  i dont know.  am i supposed to do absolutely nothing and just pray?  probably.  gah!!!  this is my but, God moment - except it is me arguing.  seriously, that is physically painful for me not to think, scheme, plan and execute!  especially when it looks to me like eman is doing nothing.  of course, i have no idea what is going on in his private prayer life.  i can only pray that the Lord is nudging his heart to be praying too.  we pray together sometimes, but clearly we need to be doing it WAY more often - seeking the Lord's plan together.  right now, it feels like we are floating side by side, tethered loosely.  tomorrow, while the boys are in class, i am hoping to get coffee with my hub, and walk together, talk together and pray together.  will you be praying for us?  i want the HS to be moving in our hearts, reuniting and joining us together - 3 stranded cord is not easily broken.

I just read through all of Hab 3 - the Lord is mighty and powerful!  He does crazy things and the earth trembles - how am i still worried about money being provided?!  Father God, forgive my unbelief!  Please help me to be still and wait on You!  Reunite me with my beloved - make us a 3 strand cord with You - woven so tightly we would be like 1.
Hab 3:18-19: Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the the God of my salvation.  THe Lord God is my strength; He will make my feet like deer's feet, and He will make me walk on my high hills.

I serve The Great Encourager!

I planned to blog, recognizing that it has been quite a while since I have done so, but needed to make a quick phone call first.  Per normal, the quick phone call turned into a much longer conversation discussing things that I did not intend to talk about: adoption costs and expenses.  I got off the phone feeling quite discouraged which is exactly opposite from where I was before the conversation.  Isnt that just the way Satan likes to play us?  He takes our excitement and joy, spits on it and turns it to mud.  Arg.  But, The Great Encourager is ALWAYS faithful to turn that around when we seek Him!  Yay, God!!  Today's devotional was all about the power of the Spirit, reminding us that it is not human strength or power that accomplishes His will; it is the Spirit.  Zechariah 4:6 - So he answered and said to me: "This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: 'Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,' Says the Lord of hosts."

So, I am going to reset my heart through His Spirit and still share my excitement! (Thank you, Jesus, for being so faithful!!!)  This past weekend, Eman and I went up to our church ranch for a mini ministry retreat.  It was really neat.  Each pastor took a turn teaching on different aspects of ministry - all of them made me reflect on the ministry of adoption.  I am not able to verbalize all of what took shape in my heart, but everything combined created the perfect storm (liberally coated by my crazy hormones) when we got home Saturday night.  Poor Eman got the brunt of my crazy.  ;)  (Again, I am so thankful for the Lord's faithfulness - He has paired me with a man that loves me through that crazy!)  At the end of my tearful evening, we were able to meet in the middle of how we are approaching the big mountain of fees.  The gist of it all is this:  I am very works oriented - I really struggle sitting back and allowing the Lord to work.  I am always coming up with different ideas of what WE can do to raise funds.  Eman, on the other hand, has had MANY opportunities for the Lord to provide for his needs and is willing and able to sit back and let the Lord work.  He is also anti-fundraisers, to an extent, because it forces us to be out in the public eye, most likely being ridiculous.  Eman has had his fill of ridiculous doing many years of Young Life and hanging out with high schoolers. 

Sunday morning, I told Eman that I still wanted to do something, but that I wanted to use the skills that the Lord has given each of us.  I really enjoy sewing and Eman is an artist (who knew, right?!).  Eman agreed that we should use our skills and time.  I was so excited that we were on the same page with a plan!  We received some adoption money in the mail that we are using as "seed" money to purchase some supplies.  I will be sewing some little girl dresses and skirts and Eman will help me create some art work.  We are going to create a page on FB that will be dedicated to showing off our projects (it isnt set up yet, but will be called Bringing Naomi Home).  My goal is to double the amount that we got in the mail, if the Lord blesses our efforts with more than that, sweet.

Yesterday, I had a friend offer to grow plants for me to sell and today, I had another friend text me a fundraising idea.  What is interesting, is I had presented this idea to Eman a few weeks ago, prior to the Lord mashing both of our hearts, and he thought it was LAME!  Today, I showed him the thread of texts and he seemed more open to it.  Isnt it funny how the Lord changes our opinions?  It really is ALL in the timing.

This all brings us to this afternoon - I was so excited and encouraged to have friends come around me to support what we are doing!  I am certainly blessed!  The Lord brought this passage to mind: "So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to  you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.  Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'  For after all these thing the Gentiles seek.  For your Heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.  But see first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."  Matthew 6:28-34

I love that the Lord knows our EVERY need and wants to provide for us!  All we need to do is ask - but what is even more cool is He knows BEFORE we ask!  I serve The Great Provider too!

Happy Birthday pictures!

We got pictures finally!!!!  I had given up hope, quiet frankly, thinking that she just may be too little for them to get cake for.  Apparently I was wrong!  Yay!!!  She is so sweet - just a little bitty thing, too.  This is so different than my boys; they were both chunks and dense.  God creates us girls totally different and I cannot wait to discover who this little girl is!  The bottom picture is the first one that I have gotten that has even a hint of a smile.  Again, I cannot wait to see true joy on her face and to hear giggles come out of her mouth. 
Daddy is sleeping (he is working nights) so he hasnt seen these, but the boys and I have gone through them many times.

I mailed in the last pieces of our dossier paperwork a few days ago and heard back that it is in the certification/authentication/translation phase.  It should be mailed to China in 2-3 weeks.  Wow!  That is a big step forward!  If everything moves forward, on average, we should be in China August or September!

Rain down manna, Lord, each day, as we continue to move forward!  This verse has really been stuck in my head that past few months - The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying: "Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with loving kindness I have drawn you."  Jeremiah 31:3.  So thankful for HIS great love for me, my family and Naomi!!